Went To Take A Dump, Jerked Off On The Toilet... Oops... Forgot To Wipe After

The itching in my crack is madness... Pure Madness, I tell you! This occasionally happens when I have a morning pull. Hoping I could get through the day without showering but not sure I'm going to make it. I've worn down the bristles on a hair brush from scratching and now it's starting to bleed. Damn you, Bin Laden!

http://www.bobrobertsonline.co.uk/up...es-zyg-bob.jpg

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Originally Posted by Dino Velvet

The itching in my crack is madness... Pure Madness, I tell you! This occasionally happens when I have a morning pull. Hoping I could get through the day without showering but not sure I'm going to make it. I've worn down the bristles on a hair brush from scratching and now it's starting to bleed. Damn you, Bin Laden!

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This reminds me of the Twitter culture we find ourselves in. Narcissists who have a need to tell whomever will listen when, where, and how they shat that day. We're doomed...:sad:

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Originally Posted by nevada64

This reminds me of the Twitter culture we find ourselves in. Narcissists who have a need to tell whomever will listen when, where, and how they shat that day. We're doomed...:sad:

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Maybe I should get one of those Twitter thing-a-ma-jigs. I'd have a place to give a blow by blow of all my bowel movements.

"Follow your nose and you'll follow Dino Velvet."

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Originally Posted by Dino Velvet

Maybe I should get one of those Twitter thing-a-ma-jigs. I'd have a place to give a blow by blow of all my bowel movements.

"Follow your nose and you'll follow Dino Velvet."

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Yes, you should get right on that. There are thousands out there whom are anticipating reports on your next bowel movement. Again, we're doomed... I predict we'll all be speaking Chinese in 50 years.

Note to self: Remember to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong when you go to the Ralph's this afternoon.

Yes Dino we are all hanging on by a hair to hear what happened with your most current waste evacuation. We want the details. Like hard, soft, little balls long and narrow, or short and fat. Or maybe long and fat the way you like them. The color and temperature of each stool speciman..... well, you get the idea. Keep us up to date.

PS. I hope the itching is better.

Sounds like Larry David!!!

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Originally Posted by Ineeda SM

Yes Dino we are all hanging on by a hair to hear what happened with your most current waste evacuation. We want the details. Like hard, soft, little balls long and narrow, or short and fat. Or maybe long and fat the way you like them. The color and temperature of each stool speciman..... well, you get the idea. Keep us up to date.

PS. I hope the itching is better.

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I had a lotta spinach tonight so it was real stringy. I took a peak between my knees and it looked like wet green seaweed hanging on for its life from one of my more generous dingleberries.

Note To Self: I forgot to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong when I went to the Ralph's this afternoon. Must return tomorrow and to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong when I go to the Ralph's. Also... unplug computer and bring it with you tomorrow when you go to the Ralph's to buy Economy Size Mega Roll Charmin Ultra-Strong. This is the only way you will remember.

Sorry for switching tenses. I hate grammar errors as much as the next fella or dame but I changed form toward the end and am typing with hoofs instead of hands now. It's not easy. You should try it sometime. Time for another hit.

Thanks for the update Dino. We all look forward to the next evac report.