depression

[Chica]

well here i am, on the verge of just mentally breaking down, so close to actually start transition, always being knocked back in some way, but i was just wondering what advice would people give me towards this?

i dont really have a lot to say, other than feel like im cracking up and for too many years trying to break the person within me free... im sure others have felt the same, and probably successfully came through it, ive been a tough egg to crack, but 5 mins ago, i just broke, tears flowing, heart racing.. im going to see the doc about it tomorrow find out what can be done, and i just hope the anti-depressant tablets wont be issued

what ive probably just said is a load of mumbo jumbo anyway... i just feel confused right now... if your feeling you wanna give someone a big online hug, im right here needing 1

[Quinn]

*Gives Chica a big online hug*

I'll leave the advice part of things to some of the girls on here who have actually experienced what you are going through. Best of luck.

-Quinn

[YasminLee]

U GOT A BIG HUG FROM ME SWEETIE...SADLY ENOUGH U'RE NOT ALONE...AS A TS I FEEL MOST OF US ARE VERY DEPRESS AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LOOK, CONTRARY TO MOST BELEIVE.. WE'RE JUST VERY LONELY PEOPLE..WE LIVE A VERY ISOLATE LIFESTYLE...U GOTTA REMEMBER THAT WE ARE THE STRONGEST YET MOST FRAGILE HUMAN...IT'S HARD, BUT WE'RE SURVIVING AND WILL CONT'. IT'S GOOD THAT U ARE SEEING A SPECIALIST...IT'S NICE TO JUST TALK AND LET IT OUT...MUCH LOVE...YASMIN

[stillies77]

if you ever need anyone to talk to or anyone for support...drop me an instant message i will be here to talk to you whenever you need anything.

[Samantha]

*hugs*

I'm depressed too. I think it's a big part of transition.

Sorry to ramble on about my own issues, but here I am - on the verge of finishing transition (I have a relative willing to pay for my BAS and SRS, and both myself and my girlfriend have had FFS done) and I can't get more than a rewarding but extremely low hour (15 hours a week at most) part time job. Even after being out of college for almost four years that's all I've got. Apparently, that four year degree isn't enough for even a secretary type job. Now I'm trying to apply in retail and seeing where it will take me. Maybe with the shit economy right now, I won't even get a job there. Also, without work I don't know how my girlfriend and I are going to afford her BAS and SRS.

Like I said, sorry to bring up my own issues (I know they aren't what you want to hear) - but I just wanted to point out in spite of all the shit I've gone through, I would never go back. Liberating myself has been worth the hell I've gone through and then some.

[Chica]

~*hugz to the lot of ya*~

thx

jocy, yeah i took a few deep breaths and i feel fine now, my best friend always has wondered how i just get on by with what ive done in my life so far (and doesnt know of the TS thing yet!) but i guess even the toughest eggs break sometime

yasmin, what u say is true, but its just not right, we get grief because of being different, but being different makes us happy. normally id have some more to say about it, but right now i just feel like i have nothing to say

unisex, SSRi's? i have no idea what they are... anti depressants or something?

[Chica]

samantha, no we're all in this together... besides i dont like hogging the limelight

how cant you get a job? surely that breaks all the rules there... i know that in the UK loads of people are suing the companies for not being fair towards all employees, but then im not really a know-it-all about laws and things... just feel free to shre the threat as much as i do

[ian]

Thats it.

Just take a few steps back and relax.

Perhaps all you need is someone to talk to about it all.

Anyway we're all letting you know that we are thinking of you.

[Samantha]

samantha, no we're all in this together... besides i dont like hogging the limelight

how cant you get a job? surely that breaks all the rules there... i know that in the UK loads of people are suing the companies for not being fair towards all employees, but then im not really a know-it-all about laws and things... just feel free to shre the threat as much as i do

I don't think it's related to being a transsexual. Right now I work mostly with 10-18 year olds and they treat me as 100% female. They're usually worse about reading/clocking you than adults are. Plus the adults I work with treat me as 100% female as well. I think the job market is just total crap right now. Every place I walk into, every resume I email or mail out, and every temp/staffing agency I call tells me "we aren't hiring".

[Chica]

yeah ive heard all different crazy things from anti depressents, and i just dont want to touch them... the way im feeling now, where i just dont feel im getting anywhere with the transsition, i just feel that maybe having some hormones or something just to subconsciosly make me think im getting somewhere will help me