Things You Hate About Renting XXX Movies At A Video Store

[Dino Velvet]

I realize we live in the age of convenience and gather most of our smut from online sources. But, most of us are old enough to have had to get into our cars and drive down to the video store to rent our pornos on VHS. I used to go to Odyssey Video in Marina Del Rey usually on Tuesdays or Thursdays for $.99 day. Every sex offender in town was there sporting their cum-stained raincoats and black-toothed grins. I hated going there but it was cheap and they had a lotta lotta porno.

I am kind of a shy guy about renting my porno. When I pulled up in the parking lot, I would always scope it out looking for familiar cars. The parking lot would be code four and I was ready to enter the dwelling. I would slowly step inside and look to my left making sure the young girl wasn't behind the register. She always looked at me funny when I would bring weird porn up to the register to rent. If she was off the 45 year old Persian stoner guy would man the register and nobody was sleazier than that guy. Then I check the front section for familiar faces who did not bring their cars and also knew me. Once the coast was clear, I make a quick right and marched into the porno area.

Many people who go in the porno area are like me; they are also pervs but pretty much keep to themselves. But there are always a few bad apples that have to spoil the bunch. These are the guys that are so OK with being there that they do annoying things like whistling or jiggling the coins in their pockets while playing pocket pool. There are other guys who are heavy breathers who always seem to be following you around in hopes of getting a little on 'ya. Then there are the porno aficionados who ask you questions about movies and want to know what you're renting.

Alright, fuck these guys. I can't find the particular movie that I want so I'll grab the next best thing. I now have my movies and it's time to pay. Shit, on Tuesdays and Thursdays it's always busy, the line is 6 deep, and some jerkoff renting Sleepless In Seattle is arguing about his late fees. A cold chill goes up my spine and I am now ambushed from the blind side. An overfriendly guy from my gym has spotted me and wants to have a little chit-chat. I spin and flip the movie boxes praying I don't drop them and also hoping he won't see the titles. Oh fuck, now the line is moving and I'm next after the guy in front of me. It's my turn now and this babbling motherfucker won't get away from me and is too dumb to take a hint. I slowly and cautiously take my videos to the counter but the Persian stoner guy has stepped away for some reason and the young girl I previously mentioned just showed up for her shift and I am her first customer of the day. I give her a look that Ike would have given Tina and she said $4.28 for four videos. I give her 5, she gives me change, and puts my movies in the bag. I tell the gym guy later gator and storm out of the store wondering if the ball draining porno I rented was worth the trauma I endured at the Odyssey Video store in Marina Del Rey. All I can say is, it's 2008 and thank God for the internet. There's so much porno that I'm not sure I even like porno anymore. Well, I still like porno but now it's easier to get.

[Willie Escalade]

Never rented videos. I've gotten my stuff either from the internet or from those in the industry (I know a guy who does the titles on some videos; he gets them for me).

Not that I don't go into the porn store once in awhile, because I do. Fortunately everyone keeps to themselves, including the occasional couple or single female. Plus I've made it no secret that I watch porn; everyone I know knows. Hell, when I go to that newsstand on Cahuenga and Hollywood to get a porn rag (whether its Playboy or Hustler) it doesn't bother me...and that place is in the open.

I'll admit there have been some dudes "checking me out" when I go to Circus of Books for a mag; I have to park just south of Santa Monica Blvd. in WeHo.

Thank god for the internet!

[Darkwing Duck]

Great stuff, Dino. Totally relatable.

The last time I went to a porno shop, I got ambushed by some bitch selling little statues (?!), apparently door-to-door in that little strip center. WTF?! Seems like it had to be a joke/social experiment to get under people's skin.

If I wasn't such a perv, the shopkeeper would have lost my sale of nine issues of Black Tail for letting that go on in there.

[peggygee]

Fortunately everyone keeps to themselves, including the occasional couple or single female.

Plus I've made it no secret that I watch porn; everyone I know knows. Hell, when I go to that newsstand on Cahuenga and Hollywood to get a porn rag (whether its Playboy or Hustler) it doesn't bother me...and that place is in the open.

I'll admit there have been some dudes "checking me out" when I go to Circus of Books for a mag; I have to park just south of Santa Monica Blvd. in WeHo.

Thank god for the internet!

I remember waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy back in the day before the Internet
one of the only sources for info on transsexuals was in the porn stores, or
via medical texts both of which I would peruse.

On many occasions I would have the guys following me around the store,
or outside when I left.

I have even had a few of the clerks use my contact info to track me down.

[justatransgirl]

Hey Peggy - where you been?

I have a funny story.

My former TS GF (before Jessica) and I were fooling around in a dirty book/sex toy store checking out bondage toys. There was a TS magazine section where two latin guys were comparing magazines - so engrossed in the photos they never noticed two transsexuals standing right behind them...

Giggle,
TS Jamie

[heartburnkid]

I work at one that is pretty dead most of the time. Just over two months ago I went to the back to make my rounds and saw a dude blowing another guy. Traumatizing.

[Dinand]

I don't rent movies at stores, I only buy movies online, it's better that way!

[Intrepid]

Totally relatable Dino! The shop where I used to get my VHS videos back in the late eighties is closed now. So many people go online now. I rented my first transsexual videos there "Ladyboys of Katoey Island" I and II.

[tsluva]

#1. i hate people who sit in their cars in the parking lot of XXX stores for long periods. makes me paranoid about getting robbed.

#2. i do not like panhandlers off the street,confronting me the minute i park my car.

#3. i do not like other customers in-store, peeking/staring over my shoulder or in my hand to see what porn movies i've picked out.

#4. i do not like check out counter employees giving me the WTF dirty look when i decide to rent tranny vids.

#5. i also do not like counter-check out help being on the damn cell phone, ignoring and keeping customers.

#6. i do not like customers who stand in one spot in the aise way, staring & studying the damn video cover for 10-15 minuts, as if the cover itself is going to come alive and allow them to watch right there in the damn store.

#7. i hate any XXX store that does not have available security .

#8. i do not like people on their cell phones, standing in middle
of aise way, especially when they know they dont want to
rent/buy a damn thing.

#9. i do not like entering funky smelling, neglected restrooms
which havent been cleaned, re-stocked towels or broken materials
(handles,commodes,sink faucets, etc.)

#10. i hate it when movies that i am really interested in renting
are out of stock for long periods of time.

#11. i hate finding out later when i get home that the vids i rented
are defected and unplayable.

i also recommend on-line DVD rental.(dvdempire,wantedlist,bushdvd,sugardvd, etc.)

[stewmeat]

video store?

Reyna, are those pictures of you real? I think I am in LOVE!