I wrote this poem after seeing the movie Soldier Girl and thinking back on my past relationships.




“Welcome to the other side of the looking glass!”
I heard a voice say to me
As I took a walk down the dark streets last night.
Familiar streets
Haunting streets!
Streets I’ve known before
But things are different here,
The fog was thick
The air…chilling to the bone
Idle chatter pollutes the air
The shadows envelop me
As I stop in for a cup of joe
My heart indicts me
I can’t stomach what I’ve seen

The paradox of it all
Utter beauty shrouded by such dark tragedy
Is this what Shelley meant
When he wrote of “intellectual beauty”
I sit fidgeting, searching for a smoke
What if they find out?
A thousand peering eyes cutting into my soul
Do they know?
The natives have grown restless with me as well
Why did it have to happen to her?
A friend I’ve never known
The brief moments we shared together.
Her voice faintly echoing through my head
And him….

Tears flood my soul and heart
To think of his courage, his spirit, his life, his love
It could….should have been me
It should have been Becky tormented by the pain
We had nothing compared to their beauty
The ethereal Romeo and Juliet
Is it hedonism or some form of perverted Messianic complex?
The coffee burns my tongue
As the smoke fills my lungs

I’m no fucking Messiah
But I’ll lead you away
I’m no fucking shepherd
But I’ll lead your sheep astray
“Human, all too human”
Condemned to this weak fallible vessel
Angst filled people
Creep by with their hollow minds
Echoing through mine

The lies they spread are venom to my blood
The truth I speak makes them wilt
They choose to delude themselves
With visions of Bliss
There is no bliss
Bleed me here
Drain me for the good
Muffle my mouth
So their people prosper in ignorance
My dream, their fears
They’re one in the same
HATE breeds again!

The sun creeps in…prying my eyes wide open
The birds chirp and nature is at peace
What a nightmare
Her voice, her face…etched in my mind
I cling to it for assurance
For strength to face my past
In her courage is found
Light is seen
Dark defeated
A Million miles away
My emotions drained

Searching desperately for the words
To say to her
Me…the pretentious one
Always lacking tact
Rubbing old wounds
Hoping only to comfort and heal
Clichés fill my verse
Will she ever know?
Will he ever know?
What they mean to me